An old article (1988) but still important. Author Ken Chatel was one of the builders of Trampoline sports in my region.
Adapted from the Alberta Teachers’ Association Magazine, Nov/Dec 1988. Original article by Kathy Peterson.
Last month, in the article “Legalities of Unethical Spotting”, I gave you a cold legal side concerning the growing awareness of sexual abuse that is effecting all our lives and jobs. I think it is important to be informed but to keep everything in perspective. I recently found an article in the “Alberta Teachers Association Magazine”,
Nov/Dec 1988 issue, which I feel expresses the warmer side of the issue very well. Here are some of the key points:
“In fact, our entire society appears to have gone overboard on the “touching as sexual abuse” bandwagon, to the point where the simple expression of affection or caring is seriously frowned upon. Certainly it is true that children must be protected from inappropriate sexual advances, but I’m wondering if, in our zeal to “protect,” we have not taken away a very valuable and necessary ingredient of life and the growing-up process — that of physical closeness. Children, particularly preadolescents and adolescents, are notoriously insecure and thus are fraught with feelings of uncertainty. Are we really helping them by denying them the wonderful virtues of a hug, which can instantly, if temporarily, remove or alleviate these feelings?
Yet teachers sometimes are strictly forbidden to hug their students, kids with whom they spend as much time or more time during the school term than do any other adults. Granted a hug can be misused; hence the current overcautiousness with sexual abuse. But why not think positively by having faith in human nature, replace pessimism and suspicion with optimism, and lear again to demonstrate genuine affection with a hug when it is warranted?
How magnificent that so simple a gesture can mean so much! How unfortunate that adults today are cautioned to withhold this demonstration of affection, or to give it with a disquieting sense of trepidation.
However, as we all know, individuals are just that – individuals – and what works for one, or even the majority, does not work for all. This also is true of hugging. Some kids simply do not like or want to be touched, so the compassionate adult must quickly discern and respect this message. I found such kids to be the minority.
But just as students differ, so do teachers, and I realize that not all educators are comfortable with physical expression of appreciation or affection. So be it! Certainly “hugging” cannot be forced; for kids are quick to recognize and reject superficiality. These teachers have their own unique ways of communicating their feelings to the students.
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