From a figure skating coach, Xan Nelson:
What, exactly, makes a parent “pushy?” And why do we always use the term as though it’s a bad thing? I don’t know about you, but I don’t know many 11 year olds who will get up at 5 a.m. every day to go freeze and fall on their butts over and over without a little whining. Or who then have the energy to finish their homework before an early bedtime, and then do it all again tomorrow.
You gotta push a little. In fact, you gotta push a lot. You’ve got to push a 10 year old to have the mindset of a 20-year-old, and a 15 year-old to approach their skating as though they’re 25 year-old grad students, with that level of commitment, sacrifice and maturity.So what’s the difference between a pushy parent who’s effective, and one who’s just pushy? …
read more – Why figure skating needs pushy parents
‘Pushy’ is the wrong adjective. We want parents supportive, consistent, dedicated and ambitious.
That’s the reaction of others, too, on an Chalk Bucket forum thread. And in the comments on that post.
You might be interested in this:
A Parent’s Questionnaire
Dr. Alan Goldberg
Competitive Advantage
It’s for parent education. The higher the score, the more potential damage that they are doing to their child.
3 comments ↓
“‘Pushy’ is the wrong adjective. We want parents supportive, consistent, dedicated and ambitious.”
We want spin, spin, spin, spin, spin. If the child is dedicated and ambitious, then the parent is supportive and consistent. If the parent is dedicated and ambitious but the child is not or is but to a lesser degree, the parent is pushy.
Parents need to pay, drive, and give their kid a hug, letting them know they love them.
So glad to find this discussion happening around the web. I use the term “pushy” because it’s the one in use. In fact, supportive *is* the better term– a parent who helps a youth athlete find the strength of character to push themselves to excel at something they love.
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