This past summer I attended two of three sessions with Mike Morgan from Proactive Coaching.
Avant Coeur Gymnastics:
3:00 pm – coaches
4:30 pm – athletes
6:00 pm – parents
Many of us loved the parents session. Mike — a music & football coach, parent of a gymnast — didn’t go easy on problem parents.
He pointed out that parents today are parenting differently than in the past:
#1 – 80% of communication is body language …
#2 – tone of voice
#3 – … words you use
Parents have changed, but kids haven‘t. Teens can be contrary, self-negative, argumentative.
Parents need deal with problems quickly and calmly. Practice your response to misbehavior.
“I love you too much to allow that behaviour.“
Mike emphasized that parents need to let go. They need to “release” their children to .…
… A. to the Game
… B. to the Team
… C. to the Coach
Part of parenting is to teach risk taking. Sport is a good place to learn how to put yourself on the line. How to win. And how to lose.
Far more dangerous for teens is experimenting with smoking, drugs, alcohol, sex, etc.
Parental RED FLAGS:
1. want to share in sporting credit
2. want to solve all their children’s problems
3. want to coach their son/daughter
4. yell at the officials
5. build excuses: refs, equipment, coaching, etc.
6. avoid the coach after competitions
7. parents more nervous than their children
8. slower getting over defeats than their children
Over-managed and stressed out parents result in over-managed and stressed out athletes.
Parents in distress or emotional need to give their children some space. Stay away from workout. Sit at the very top of the bleachers during competitions.
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