tips on parent / coach meetings

Many gymnastics coaches are lousy at dealing with parents. Especially young coaches.

That’s a required skill for a coach. As important as a handstand for a gymnast.

Here’s an excellent post from a gym Mom on Chalk Bucket forum:

… I just had the BEST parent-coach meeting that I ever went to, and I thought I’d share some of the things that this coach did. This was a coach talking to parents of L5/L6 girls fast-tracked (I use the term lightly – really it’s just girls identified to have the potential to go to Optionals in the next couple of years) who are 7-10 years old. We are all new to her team although not new to the gym.

She talked about her background. Now, I’ve had other coaches do this, but it always came off sort of braggy (e.g., “I was almost an elite gymnast”). This coach was very straight forward about her years of experience but also talked about why she coaches the levels she does and what she brings to it.

She complimented every single girl on the team during her talk. I don’t know if she planned this out, but she just worked it into the conversation. For example, she’d say something like “A is extremely flexible which is going to be great for her when we work on ….”

She made her expectations to the parents clear and gave specific examples from her experience. Most importantly she talked about what 8-10 year olds will not always share with their coach, even when they should. For example, she told a story of a girl who was normally a really hard worker who was just not doing her best. Finally she snapped “what is wrong with you today?” and the girl explained that her dog had died the night before. She said how girls will sometimes not talk about this because they don’t want their coach to think they are shirking, but the parent should email to help the conversation.

She talked about her own kids and family. Not too much, but enough so that I could related to her as a mother.
She talked about her goals for the team. She made it clear that if they give it their all, their scores should be in a certain range and showed a general roadmap of when they should be acquiring skills.

She talked about the need for balance in their lives and gave some specific examples of what will over tax a child vs. what will give a child a good time outside of the gym.

She talked at length about injuries and injury prevention. Even saying things like “if your child is limping at home, email me so that I watch them at the next practice.”

She talked about what we should expect as our children get older, both the good and the more difficult. She gave actual statistics about how many graduating seniors go on to 4-year colleges (not for gymnastics –just to study) and how girls who stay in the program stay out of trouble.

Most importantly, she actually asked us (as parents) what our goals were. That is, what do we hope our kids gets out of the hundreds of dollars a month we shell out. I just about fell out of my chair with shock.

I hope this is useful to coaches who plan talks with their new teams.

My personal tip #1 for all coaches = always escort your gymnasts to their parents at end of practice. Be available to chat and answer any questions at the end of each workout.

3 comments ↓

#1 Greg on 07.28.10 at 12:02 pm

I think one of the big issues is that the more junior coaches are not always encouraged to talk to the parents when it comes to the “serious stuff.” Maybe it’s because they’re scared, or they’ve been told not to, or the parents just automatically go to the person “in charge” (e.g. the owner, program director, etc). At my gym, we have a rule that the parents must talk to their child’s coach first – no matter what level.

If a parent comes to me and wants to talk about their child’s progress, or some other class issue, the first thing I do is ask if they’ve talked to the coach. If not, that’s what I tell them to do. If they have, then I will arrange to meet with the coach and the parent together. But I will never meet with a parent without making an attempt to have the coach there with me.

I’ve found that once the coaches understand that I trust them to communicate with the parents on this level they are quick to assume the responsibility and they become much more comfortable with it. Certainly there are coaches that are more comfortable than others, and they still may ask for my advice, but I’ve been doing this for several years and I don’t have a single coach that won’t talk to the parents.

#2 TP on 07.28.10 at 7:46 pm

Sounds very familiar :) Letting the parents know you are available to them before (if possible) and after (if possible) practice is important. Complimenting the kids in front of the parents seems to do way more than just letting the kids know how well they’re doing. And always tackle issues head-on – running away from a potential conflict or uncomfortable talk will only make things worse.
Of course, this didn’t always used to be a very important skill. Back “in the day”, I don’t remember parents getting too involved and needing to talk to the coach more than a couple of times per year. Ah, how times have changed :)

#3 | parenting101success.com on 07.31.10 at 1:23 pm

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